Getting your own back on cold callers!

These days, it seems I get more junk and spam phone calls than phone calls from my friends and family! It is enough to make you want to bin your phone all together. Calls on the land-line are especially annoying as it is a difficult number to change. A lot of the calls I get are scammers, people trying to get your money any way they can. I am fortunate, I grew up in an age where we were taught about the dangers of these sorts of calls but there are plenty of people, particularly of my grandparents generation, that get duped into giving away their life savings. There are many different types of scam, some include trying to get the victim to hand over their bank card and trying to push double glazing that gets paid for and never delivered. Part of the issue is that the more we wise up about the scams, the more clever and convincing they are becoming. And sometimes you don’t even need to fall for a scam to fall victim to a scammer. With things like ransomware clicking on one wrong link is all it takes for them to hold your computer and everything on it to ransom.

My most recent caller caught me at a particularly bad time. I am frustrated at the moment due to only having one arm (the wrong one at that) available after breaking my scapula (shoulder)… leaving me in a sling and in considerable pain. In reaching for the phone I leant on my bad shoulder… which HURT. And then I get told, in very broken English, that my computer has a virus that could make me lose ALL of my data in an irretrievable way unless I paid him £249.99 upfront and gave him remote access to my computer so he could remove it.

I figured I had two options.. one tell him his mother should be ashamed of him for trying to scam vulnerable women and hear him hang up… or have some fun with him. I went with the latter. Mostly because the scammers are used to being insulted so it doesn’t phase them in the least, and partially because I was bored.

To begin, I pretended to start hyperventilating and crying. I started yelling about how all my precious pictures were on the computer and that I couldn’t bare to lose them. I pretended I was getting my bank card when instructed while simultaneously telling him I couldn’t breathe and that I needed an ambulance as soon as we were done talking. I read out the first two numbers of my card, while he was telling (begging, really) me to calm down. Then I turned it up a notch, and demanded to know what this virus was called and then asked him if it was contagious and if I was going to die or if I needed vaccinating. He genuinely sounded worried about me actually bless him. I read out the next (fake) two numbers of my card before crying about my parents having to bury me so young and my daughter having to be without her mother, and I asked him why this virus attacked me and what I did wrong. He was telling me to take deep slow breaths and I could hear the chatter in the background die down a bit. He kept saying “you won’t die, you won’t die, don’t worry” over and over. I was genuinely starting to cry with laughter a bit at this point, which was probably why I was so convincing.

Finally, I decided enough was enough, I had had my fun. So I ended the call by saying, in a suddenly calm and serious voice “Well, this was fun. We should do it again sometime!” then ended with “You let yourself down, you let your mother down, you let your country down…” *click*.

Job done!

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Welcome to the Mad House! Pet Sitting Mania!

 

For the past couple of days, I have been pet sitting for a friend while he was on a training course. I wanted to share with you some of the crazy things his pets do, but before I tell you that, I should probably tell the animals he has….

6x Chickens

1x Staffy Dog called Sprocket

1x Hamster called Wiggle

7x Tropical fish

 

Today was a little manic. And fairly hilarious too! I got up at the inhuman time of 6.30am to let them out of their houses and sort out their feed and water, and check for any eggs. I went back to bed after doing this, hoping for a couple of hours more sleep. However, at approximately 7am, there was a rather loud kerfufflel outside, meaning I had to throw my coat on and go and investigate. After walking out the back door, I was greeted by a manic chicken (called Dinner) who jumped on my head (he had been on a shed right by the back door) with a half eaten worm in its mouth, refusing to share with the others. After I jumped it ‘flew’ down and a hilarious game of chase ensued. He eventually managed to finish his worm.

Once all that was finished, I went back inside. However, one of the chickens (Scruff) ran in after me before I managed to shut the door shot in and ran to her favourite nesting spot. She proceeded to lay her egg whilst serenading me with the song of her people. So much for listening to the morning news!!!! I let her out once she was done, and once again searched for eggs (they lay right through the day). I found one, and was picking it up when Scruff decided to jump up and peck a massive hole in the egg, the shock caused me to drop it, and another feeding frenzy ensued, which was totally disgusting… still, it is full of protein I guess.

After resting for a while, a certain cowardly Sprocket needed the toilet. Given than she is terrified of the chickens and they are prone to chasing and pecking her, I have to play police lady and walk out with her, keeping the chickens at bay while she does her business.

Sprocket is currently having a mad moment, and appears to be chasing an imaginary ball. very strange!!!!

Last night, Wiggle was preparing for the London Marathon this weekend by doing an unprecedented run in his wheel, must have been going for two hours! He brought food into the ball so that he could snack while he runs! He is also gross enough to poop while he is running too!!

While outside watching the chickens a few hours ago, one of them had the good sense to step on the edge of a tub that had collected a fair amount of rain water, resulting in one very wet and startled chicken. I was laughing so loud the neighbour came out to see what was going on!

It has certainly been an experience here, one that I have thoroughly enjoyed. I have had plenty of laughs watching the chickens  explore… the dust bathing experience is particularly entertaining!!!

It is a real treat to see the chickens (all rescued, three from a battery farm and 3 from appalling hope conditions) really enjoy themselves, exploring, scratching, and behaving as they naturally would. And the frenzy that ensues when chopped apple is introduced to the mix is positively hilarious.