Dealing with loss is one of the most painful emotions we can feel. It attacks our whole body until we go numb. It lasts far longer than most emotions too – lasting years in some cases.
Because of how long the effects of experiencing loss last, many people find it impacting heavily on their lives. Keeping a job can become difficult, particularly during the ‘numb’ stage – at that point you are unable to care about anything, including your job, your bills and keeping up with your friends and family.
The good news is that the despair we feel when we lose someone (or something) will fade in time. The bad news is that everything sucks until it does.
When dealing with loss it is important to set goals, little things to look forward to. Instead of seeing each day as another day you are in pain, see it as another day closer to feeling yourself again. Unfortunately, all of us will experience loss multiple times throughout our lives, so learning how to cope is a vital skill for everyone.
A good tip is to try to remember the good times, not the loss itself. Never lose sight of the light at the end of the tunnel. And know that as much as it hurts, you will be okay and you will be able to move on given enough time.
Mindfulness is another decent tip. It encourages you to notice everything in a given moment. Noticing the way you feel, the way your body feels, the way your lungs inflate and deflate as you breathe, the coffee mug you have next to you, the sound of the kids playing outside etc… it is used as part of many therapies and is very useful. Distractions are good too, dwelling too much on the pain wont help you move on. The most important thing of all, however, is to look after yourself. Pampering yourself is vital… sometimes a bit of TLC is the only thing that can bring some sort of relief.
People are different, some want to talk about it and some don’t… but however you cope, know that you have friends, you have support, you have people who love you and things will be okay again.
I had a special and personal reason for writing this today, I had some people in mind, and I am sure you did too. I just hope the next time you have to face something like this, this blog helps a little. Keep strong… it’s what they would want.
Here are some previous blog entries of mine that you may find helpful: