My mental health problems make my life hard enough to deal with. Over the last couple of years, however, my physical health has gotten increasingly bad. There isn’t just one thing that goes wrong at a time. I literally feel like I am falling apart at the seams sometimes.
It isn’t enough, apparently, that I have to live each day in mental anguish, but now I have to live each day in physical pain too. Even that would be bearable if they knew exactly what was wrong, of if the symptoms were consistent. At the moment, it seems each week there is something new. I know there are people so much worse of than me, but it makes me really, really cross! I don’t deserve it. I have never killed anyone, tortured animals or hit children! I am a nice person (at least most of the time). I wasn’t Hitler in a past life!
I am sick of being tired and tired of being sick. I am not asking for perfect health, but surely a few months without another problem to drive me sick with worry isn’t asking for too much? I don’t want much in life. I don’t want to be filthy rich, I don’t want to have a big house, I don’t want a perfect husband, I don’t want my own cruise ship and I don’t want 100 horses. But what I really, really don’t want is to feel my body rotting away while I am still in it!!!!