3 Steps Back



Sorry it has been a while since I have written, I tend to go through introverted stages when I feel low. August is always a particularly hard time for me. Historically in my life, bad things happen in August. And now, my head seems to want to carry on the pattern by pulling me down into the very depths of despair.

One thing I have found, in many different situations in my life, is that people find it exceedingly difficult to understand something they don’t know about. Quite often, the phrases ‘pull yourself together’, ‘just get on with it, we all have to’ and ‘if you want to change it, then just change it’ come into play. Which is pretty sound advice really. If only it were that easy, life sure would be different! In my next few posts, I will be going through each of my different mental health problems, and explaining how they impact my life.

Ignorance may be bliss, but it can hurt people too. My aim over the next few days is to help those who want to understand more about mental health problems do so. There is little more frustrating than trying to empathise with something you can’t understand! I have found it difficult in the past to explain things to people who don’t really understand the true impact of mental health problems. The reason it is so difficult? Because our minds work in a different way to those of ‘normal’ people. Our realities are different. We understand things differently. They really are two different worlds, and I am looking forward to giving you a glimpse of mine.

As for right now, I am having snuggles with a gorgeous dog called Sammie. I do pet sitting so I get her company for the next week, which is great! I am about to snuggle down and watch ‘Shaun of the Dead’ with a glass of elderflower cordial. I have put it in a wine glass, and I am pretending it has alcohol in it, as I am off the booze now that I heard the bad news about my liver. I am also off the sleep meds (I am trying to protect my liver and the sleep meds where the one non-essential medicine I take). This has led to approximately 15 hours sleep in the past week, and I am exhausted. And grumpy. Very, very grumpy. Still, I hope the insomnia will end soon. Most of the sleep I have had came after a doctor from the on-call out of hours group came to see me. After a couple of injections, she then went above and beyond the call of duty and came back every 90 minutes to check on me just so I didn’t need hospital care. Truly outstanding treatment.

Chat soon!


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