Meet the neighbours!

I mentioned in my first post about the insane (literally) people in my block. After a slightly creepy experience the other night during the thunderstorm, I thought I would fill you guys in so you would know what I was talking about when I mentioned it. I wont use their names for obvious reasons.

I am right at the top, on the third floor, so there is a good place to start.

The man opposite, Crazy dude.

He believes he is possessed by the devil. He is usually very quiet, if not creepy, but occasionally he flips out. Picture the scene. I am chillaxing in bed, it is about 9am and I am waiting for Jeremy to come on. And I hear a ‘baa baa’. Whilst I knew what I heard, I dismissed it as my over-medicated state. But then I heard it again. But louder. So being the nosy person I am, I am glued to the peep-hole in my door, and low and behold he had a sheep. A fully grown sheep.

Whilst that is extremely odd on its own, the fact that he doesn’t drive and we live in the middle of a town that is not brimming over with sheep makes it even weirder.

After making the usual calls to my mum, (she is lucky enough to get called all the time when things like this happen as it helps me show her I could be worse!) I phoned the landlords. I am not entirely sure she believed me at first, put me on hold and spoke to her manager, before returning to the phone to tell me they don’t have a procedure policy for this sort of thing.

It was a similar experience when phoning the RSPCA. After a couple of hours, the police showed up with the RSPCA and had to damn near knock the door down before he opened the door. At this point, my curiosity won, and I opened the door to watch properly. They got the sheep out live and well, but he was planning on sacrificing it to get rid of the devil. He gave me an evil look, and said he was going to kill me (whilst cuffed with the police) and I threw this great toy I have on the floor which does a hysterical, prolonged, hearty laugh. He was clearly cross but the police thought it was funny.

The one directly below me. Crazy woman/ coffee lady.

This lady, who I imagine is in her 40’s (at least) only moved in a couple of months ago. When I first met her we were in the hall. Being polite (as you should try to be with your neighbours), I said hello. Without missing a beat, she replied ‘I put my coffee away this morning’. You know when people talk to slowly it is painful? This was worse than that. I bid her farewell with a cheery ‘Well, that’s good then!’.

Later the same day, I was going out, and was waiting outside the main entrance when the door opens behind me, I walk forward a couple of steps to allow the door to open. After a few seconds, I wondered why no one had passed me, and I turn round to see my lovely neighbour behind me. I asked her if she was ok, and she said that she was fine, just waiting in the queue to get out.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, I am fat. However, I am not so fat that I block the whole path. I said she was welcome to go in front of me and she waddled off.

But that is not all! About a week later, she knocked on my door, asking what she should do with the Avon catalogues that had been delivered each day. She knows an Avon lady in Leeds, and asked if I wanted her to take my catalogue with her when she dropped it off. In Leeds.

And there is still more. We had a power cut on Monday shortly before the storm hit. And she showed up at my door with a cup, asking if I could give her some of my electric. A cup. Because the noise from the thunder was so loud, I was up a lot of the night talking to a friend, when I heard a knock at the door. This must have been about 4am. After looking through the peep hole, I could see she was standing there, with that cup again.

I hid under the duvet.

So as not to shock your system too much, I will leave it there for now. The rest of the neighbours will be coming up soon.

The plus side, of course, is that I always have something interesting to say!


One thought on “Meet the neighbours!

  1. Pingback: Coffee Lady Strikes Again!!! | Laments of a Loon

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